Why do we like shlumpy robes so much?

I’m sure we all have one–that shlumpy bathrobe we love wearing in the privacy of our home but not in the presence of guests.  It may be old, ratty, and even slightly stained from things we can’t remember.  Despite all of that, we just can’t part with that favorite shlumpy robe.

What is it that makes us practice monogamy with a bathrobe?  Perhaps it’s soft, fuzzy, cozy, long, a Christmas gift from mom.  I’ve no doubt there are newer, better robes with the same qualities, but somehow, parting with the shlumpy robe can make us feel like we’re cheating on a significant other.  Just because your life partner may have some loose threads doesn’t mean you should give it up for the latest style, does it?

My shlumpy robe is fuzzy with a mint green and grey paisley pattern.  It’s been with me for some time, but only the robe knows for how long (my memory has blocked the number of years).  We’ve been through sickness and health, good times and bad, rainy and sunny mornings with tea.  Whenever Shlumpy is in the wash and I’m wearing Foxy Red, I fear I’m being disloyal.  However, as soon as Shlumpy is out of the dryer, she goes on me nice and toasty as if to give me a big warm hug.

I’m sure we’ll be together until death do us part (i.e., some unforeseen catastrophe like the washer, fire, or the neighbor’s dog), but in the meantime, Shlumpy and I will enjoy each other’s company.  Feeling so connected to our shlumpy robes, we have to wonder why do we sometimes feel such an affinity for inanimate objects?

Why, indeed.