Why is it that nobody wants to be the one to change the roll of toilet paper?

Ever since we moved away from the days of using leaves, twigs, and newspapers for personal hygiene, a battle has been continuing in bathrooms across the land over who will be the favored one to put out the new toilet paper roll.  For whatever reason, no one wants to be the TP designate.

At all costs we avoid going through the trouble of taking the empty cardboard roll off the holder and replacing it with a new roll full of cottony softness to pamper our backsides.  It does entail a bit of effort–taking off the old roll, disposing the old roll, obtaining the new roll from wherever the rolls are stored, putting the new roll on, and unraveling the first sheets of paper from the roll.  This is a far too time consuming and complicated process with too many steps for some.

Many (more) steps are taken, however, to avoid replacing the roll.  The first step is to use less paper to make sure it doesn’t run out during your turn in the loo, but this can cause the problem of not getting “the job” done as well as it should.  The next step is to use another bathroom (if there is one) that has more paper on the roll, but the problem with this is that the second bathroom will eventually run out of paper, thus causing multiple bathrooms to be in need of new rolls simultaneously.  If there are tissues in the bathroom, they can be used as a temporary replacement, but they too will run out sooner or later bringing us back to the original issue of changing the roll.

My favorite step is to make sure there’s at least one sheet left on the roll, because as long as there is that one, solitary, lonely sheet, you are not the person held accountable for changing the roll.  Use up that very last sheet, and it’s your obligation to put out a new roll.  Of course, if you live with someone, you can always call out from “the office” and ask them to deliver more paperwork to you, but if the answer you get is “use your fingers,” then you’re out of luck.  Why can’t we (including yours truly) just avoid all the hassle and use a little foresight when we have our dealings with Mother Nature?

Why, indeed.